Managing Fear in Daily Life
by Nicholas de Castella
1. Ground yourself in the Present
When we are experiencing massive fear we will often ‘Freak Out’ of our bodies literally. This is largely because we are afraid of fear. Connect Eyes with someone. Look at your hands and
realise you are safe. Connect with the Breath, – “Breathing In and Letting Go”. Connect with the Body, Awareness in the body – “What can you feel in your body?”
“Locate and Describe what you are feeling” . It helps to acknowledge where the emotion (fear) is located and realise it’s not all of you, it is only part of you.
2. Distinguish between feeling afraid and being in danger
Do a reality check: Ask: ”What are the facts here?” Am I actually in danger? If in danger –TAKE ACTION TO MAKE YOURSELF SAFE.
If not in danger then tell yourself: “It’s OK for me to be scared, I am not in danger”. Ask yourself (or another) “Am I actually safe? Even though I am feeling afraid?” Note you are not in danger.
Call the bluff on the fear. Draw attention to what is Real. For example;
“Realise nothing is going to hurt me now”, “I am safe”, “It is safe for me to feel” This allows us to relax into the fear.
3. Challenge Fear based Thinking
When you realise that you are projecting into the future and ‘awfulising’ (generating fear based thoughts and images) then it is sensible to challenge and restructure your thinking. To do this first acknowledge that you are feeling some fear. Then breathe into it, in your body. Then recognise the fear based thinking. Next, drop the thought, and replace it with a more supportive affirmation. If you are afraid of something bad happening then you can re-imagine being safe and something good happening. A useful tool is to learn to project a white light around the situation.
4. Be present with the fear
Love or fear? When we are shut down in contraction and think we are separate, we are. When we are open we discover that we are all one. When we connect with the fear then there is love, ‘the truth will set you free’ (from disconnection and isolation). As adults we are responsible also to parent ourselves, to give ourselves what we did not receive as children, i.e. be present with ourselves.
Fear is often associated with being alone and feeling isolated. When fearful find a
compassionate ear, talk about what you are afraid of, this will reduce fear. If you feel heard and supported fear will often reduce“
5. Face the Fear
Sometimes we don’t recognise that we are in fear. Fear breeds on avoidance. The monster in the scary movies is rarely seen. Look in the eyes of the fear and it will often disappear.
a) Call the illusion – Confront It. Realise that fear is an emotion, an energy in your body.
b) Welcome the feelings that are present. Internally face the fear:
Sit with it, locate the energy in your body, describe the sensations and go into the feelings.
Think of what you are afraid of and welcome the feeling in, say ‘here I am, come and get me’ Say ‘Yes’ to the feeling.
c) Come into the body through the breath; locate the emotional energy in the body. Bring
attention to feelings, locate them, breath into them allow them to be there.
d) Allow the energy to move through breath, sound and movement. Allow the feelings to come through fully. Feel them flowing through your Body.
6. The Ultimate Response to FEAR – to Realise The truth
Recognise and debunk the ego conditioning, illusion of vulnerability. Our Ego Self is who we think we are. Transcendence = End the trance and dance.
The ultimate truth is ‘I cannot be hurt, I wasn’t born, I am eternal, I am not this experience’,
I am awareness, the witnessing consciousness of this experience.
8. Do it anyway
Make a habit of turning and facing your fear. One of the most empowering habits you can
develop is to learn to do what it is you are afraid to do.
Fear can be cured by conscious repetition of acts of courage.
Teresa Ratcliffe T: 0419 586 810 E: email@example.com W:heartsvoice.com.au
Thrive Coach Breathwork Practitioner Handouts by Nicholas and Susan de Castella. Copyright Protected 2012
Australian Breathwork College T: 03 9739 8889 www.breathwork.com.au firstname.lastname@example.org